A cat's purr can heal bones. It just chooses not to heal your wallet after the vet bill.

Your brain is a limited-edition disappointment.

You’re always thinking. Results may vary.

Your brain isn’t broken. It’s just wildly underqualified.

We've been together so long we finish each other's sentences, mostly with 'I told you so.'

Common sense tried calling. You blocked the number.

Your brain is loading. Please lower expectations.

Your brain took a shortcut and got lost.

Bees communicate through dance. Humans communicate through a passive-aggressive group chat message.

I'm sorry, I don't speak fluent nonsense.

You’re not confused. Confusion requires options.

My love language is silence and hoping you can just tell.