In-laws are proof that even family comes with terms and conditions.

I'll share my Netflix password with you the day I trust you with my firstborn, so basically never.

Your brain needs technical support.

I process my feelings the same way I process my laundry: eventually, and with a lot of avoidance first.

I'd climb the corporate ladder, but I'm afraid of commitment and heights.

Your brain is powered by questionable decisions.

You’re living proof that opinions don’t require qualifications.

Your intellectual curiosity filed for early retirement.

My partner and I have great communication. We both ignore the same problems equally.

I don't have a caffeine addiction, I have a coffee-shaped coping mechanism.

A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance. A group of humans doing the same thing is called a red flag.

My emotional support is a snack and the ability to leave the group chat.