Dark Humor

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

With a calendar, your days are numbered.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

People who spend money on lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says 'If an emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'. What's my mother going to do?