Food

Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and think, 'I wonder what happens if I squeeze these and drink whatever comes out'?

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'well, that's not going to happen.'

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Everything is edible. Some things are only edible once.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Drink coffee — do stupid things faster, with more energy.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it.

I could give up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter.

Pizza is the only thing I've ever committed to without hesitation.

Cereal is just cold soup for people who've given up.