Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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I think, therefore I'm single.
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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
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Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
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