Workplace

My productivity peaks at 4:58 PM, right before I have to leave.

My inbox has 4,000 unread emails and a personality disorder to match.

The meeting could have been an email. So could most of my job.

The office fridge is a crime scene and everyone's a suspect.

I've mastered the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing productive.

I'd climb the corporate ladder, but I'm afraid of commitment and heights.

I don't have a caffeine addiction, I have a coffee-shaped coping mechanism.

I don't multitask. I just switch between tabs and call it a skill.

Nothing ruins a Friday afternoon quite like an email titled 'Quick Question.'

Every job has a 'that guy' who replies-all to say 'thanks' to fifty people.

My work-life balance is mostly just work, occasionally interrupted by sleep.

The bravest thing anyone does at work is reply-all with 'noted.'