Savage Insults

I'd explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.

I've met houseplants with better comebacks.

Your opinion is like a software update. Nobody asked for it, and it's probably going to cause problems.

You're the reason the warning labels got longer.

You have something on your chin. No, the third one down.

You're not the sharpest tool in the shed. You're not even in the shed.

I'm sorry, I don't speak fluent nonsense.

I've seen rocks with more personality.

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn't even listening.

I'm not saying you're slow, but snails file complaints about you.

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

I'd call you a tool, but that implies you're useful for something.