Savage Insults

You're the reason the warning label says 'do not eat.'

You look like you were drawn by someone who'd only heard a description of a person.

You have a face I would never get tired of — looking away from.

You are someone's lesson learned.

I've met furniture smarter than you.

You're not old — you're just vintage, and nobody wants you.

You're not even worth the calories it takes to argue with you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.

You have a face only a mother could love. On a good day.

You are proof that even oxygen can be wasted.

I'd roast you, but my mother taught me not to waste good material on preheated ovens.

You're not stupid, you just have bad luck thinking.