Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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More Dark Humor

With a calendar, your days are numbered.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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